Some of my favorite notable Vampires we didn’t quite have time to cover are: Lady Bathory, St. Germain, and Rasputin. Thier legends are pretty intense. Lesbian nymphomaniac sadists from the 1500′s anyone? Or how about, prophetic Russian mystics who couldn’t be killed? History has so many great legends, we really don’t even need you Stephanie Meyer so your sparkly care bear stare vampires can just SUCK IT.

For all ye weary of the vampire trend I promised you a feast and so let us not speak of bad mormon writers again. Feast your eyes on the picture above. Isn’t this a juicy sensual fabulous neck? I’m not even a vampire and I kinda want to bite into it. Consider the photo above a palate cleanser as we progress into the next course.  Before the tasting please allow me to share a few reasons why my blood is still boiling for vampires despite the abundance of bad tween books out there on the subject. We’ve already discussed a few of the notable historical vamps and now lets progress to the contemporary.

1.)  Raison D’etre Numero Uno: Oh Sookie
Let me get in your head
Oh Sookie
We can lay in the bed
Oh Sookie
Choose a player like me
Do it in the daytime with the D-O double G
Oh Sookie
Can I take you away
Oh Sookie
You ever been to LA?
Oh Sookie
Come and play on my team
We’ll do it in the daytime So Bill won’t know a thing!

2.) El Secundo – Revisionist History is all the rage these days with politicians resurrecting the dead to breathe life into their crummy rhetoric but wouldn’t it be great if we could use historical figures for other things like slaying vampires for instance. History’s not as dry as you may have thought let me give you a hint he wore a top hat and if that wasn’t cool enough check it.

3.) And finally the icing on the whole bloody cake! Let me start this by saying my first two selections have prepared you with camp and from those selections I hope you can deduce that I’m not a literary or pop culture elitist. And so when I recommend to you the following you won’t be scared away by the scandanavian name below. Please note that if  you don’t want me to come for you in the night mwah ha ha… or, if perhaps you do want me to come for you in the night then you had better get hip to my final and favorite selection.

• Book: Låt Den Rätte Komma In, John Ajvide Lindqvist, 2004

• Film: Let The Right One In, adapted by John Ajvide Lindqvist, directed by Tomas Alfredson, 2008

An amazing book, an even more amazing movie. I swear both have haunted me ever since I first saw them. Eerie, playful, and lush, with undertones of deep questioning on the nature of justice, childhood, protection, love and death.

I know the whole Vampire craze is probably not for everybody’s tastes but I really feel that it’s resonating in this cultural moment for a reason and perhaps it’s worth a second bite.

Until  next we eat,

Mimi

Mimi

I’ll be back later this week with thoughts on our recent events, but I’d also like to start using this space more informally, as a place to talk about, well, awesome books!  So I thought I’d start with one that’s long been a favorite: Brothers Karamazov.

This book has stuck with me over the years. The pity and compassion of Russian writing just always sucker punches me in the ticker. In my opinion this book should be made into a Quentin Tarantino movie if you read it we can discuss our casting choices. The B.K. is about a dysfunctional family (the karamozovs) a family with an excess testosterone resulting in some serious issues. The book is sweeping, sordid, raw, full of humor and emblazoned on every page with juicy tension. Both the narrator and the characters are always groping towards the realization of an ideal of brotherhood/fraternity that can exist in a world full of human weakness and sinfulness. So yeah, It’s an ambitions frickin book to say the least! The fact that there once lived a mad russian genius crazy enough to write this epic makes me feel like a complete wuss for ever being afraid to read it! I was nearly scared away by the difficulty of keeping the characters strait (Russians like long names and nicknames) In retrospect though, the reading part was easy – what’s hard for me to fathom is the mind that created this masterpiece and it’s not just the mind – the heart this excess of insight where the hell did it come from what a marvelous deep deep well! So fall in and keep falling – experience your Karamozovian nature!

“I’m a Karamazov… when I fall into the abyss, I go straight into it, head down and heels up, and I’m even pleased that I’m falling in such a humiliating position, and for me I find it beautiful. And so in that very shame I suddenly begin a hymn. Let me be cursed, let me be base and vile, but let me also kiss the hem of that garment in which my God is clothed; let me be following the devil at the same time, but still I am also your son, Lord, and I love you, and I feel a joy without which the world cannot stand and be.”

God Bless us Everyone!!

Our Chicago NGR event this month was one giant warm fuzzy, there was frost on the windows, it was warm and snuggly inside, but all was not quiet as we were spiking the hot chocolate, reading Dickensian tales from the 1800’s, AND – GETTING RAIDED BY THE Chicago Police Dept.

Don’t worry we are all legal, everything was fine in the end…. Maybe they just felt left out in the cold and needed to come inside for a glimpse of the warm, lovely, naked ladies to stave of the chill. At least that’s our working theory.

While we were reading Dickens this month a few phrases, words and interesting annotations struck me as interesting asides. I thought that I’d look into them for my own amusement.

I’ve always taken for granted the saying “Dead as a doornail.” But apparently when Dickens did his readings this particular phrase always garnered loads of applause. What would have been so funny about that to his contemporaries?

DEAD AS A DOORNAIL – “Since ordinary nails aren’t used in making doors, perhaps the ‘nail’ in this phrase, which can be traced all the way back to 1350, was a small metal plate nailed on a door that visitors pounded with the knockers attached to it when announcing their arrival. Life would eventually be pounded out of the ‘nail’ in that way. Then again the ‘nail’ could be the heavy-handed decorative nails outer doors were studded with, though why these doornails would be regarded as any ‘deader’ than say, coffin nails is a mystery. It has even been suggested that since nails weren’t ordinarily used for doors, the phrase means ‘dead as something that never existed.’ Anyway, people are still getting good mileage out of the expression, as did Langland in ‘Piers Plowman,’ Shakespeare more than once, and Dickens in ‘A Christmas Carol.

NEGUS – This drink was created by colonel Francis Negus in the early eighteenth century. Jerry Thomas remarked in his book ‘How to Mix Drinks’, published in 1862, that it is ‘A most refreshing and elegant beverage, particularly for those who do not take punch or grog after supper.’

Ingredients

50 ml Port (2 fl oz)

25 ml Claret (1 fl oz)

25 ml Burgundy (1 fl oz)

1 Teaspoon Brandy

50 ml Water (2 fl oz)

1/2 Lemon, thinly sliced in rings

small pinch Grated nutmeg

1 Heaped tsp Sugar

Method

Makes 1 glass

Gently heat all the ingredients in a small saucepan.

Strain into a heat-proof goblet when hot.

Or how about doing: The Sir Roger de Coverley (apparently much more complicated than the Macarena) Look at that pattern:

1890s England is just full of interesting customs that our 21^st century readers were somewhat in the dark about. What we were not however in the dark about was the wonderfully descriptive rich and compelling prose of Mr. Dickens. Some turns of phrase are passé and some still grip the heart here are a few quotes that I found compelling.

“Darkness is cheap, and Scrooge liked it.”

“External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty.”

“If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”

Hello Lovely Readers,

Since this month was all about sharing letters allow me the honor of sharing a lovely bit of correspondence I received after our Naked Girls Event this month. I was thrilled to have received it and I hope more like it will follow.

______________________________________________

To MiMi First–

It was a singular pleasure to be read to last night by four such lovely and literate ladies. It was also a pleasure to meet you personally and talk briefly with you. I had been intending, as you requested, to make some suggestions for your future sessions, although your own tastes in literature are so impeccable that you hardly need any recommendations from me. I say this not only because of your choices last night but because of your mini-review of “Jane Eyre,” a book that I just happen to be rereading. My suggestions, if I had made them, would have been among the well-known variety, such as Beethoven’s letter to his Immortal Beloved and excerpts from Yeats’s many letters to his tormentor Maud Gonne. But as I discovered, you don’t need me. Just go to Amazon, if you haven’t already, and select your favorites from the following titles: “Love Letters of Great Men” “98 Love Letters That Will Bring You To Your Knees” “Love Letters: Everyman’s Pocket Guide” “Love Letters: An Anthology of Passion” “Love Letters: A Romantic Treasury” There are at least a dozen more, and most of them have letters from great writers. You’ll also want to regale the crowd with the story of Heloise and Abelard, a deathless romance between two brilliant minds that resulted in a castration. Lastly, there is a more recent scandal involving a literary figure that you may not have heard of. I mean Robert Olen Butler and a notorious e-mail about his wife that he sent to his students. You can find a reference at Wikipedia, which will lead you to the gory details at Gawker. Again, it was nice seeing you and your friends, and I hope to attend another salon at some point in the future. Sincerely, T___

______________________________________________

I’m eager to go off  and check out some of these juicy letter recommendations especially those in the last paragraph. It also feels very universally human to encounter the same passions, fears, and concerns in the 21st century world as those that existed centuries before.

This month I got to visit Oscar Wilde in jail utterly bereft and simultaneously spiritually uplifted in, “De Profundis” Go ahead and bake him a cake with a file it if you wish – you’ll find him here: http://www.upword.com/wilde/de_profundis.html

They say every coin has two sides and every story certainly does as well. So I played historian, detective and snoop by comparing and contrasting Lord Byron’s and Lady Caroline Lambs letters in order to get down to the bottom of a certain mishap with a kitchen knife! Here were my sources: “Love Letters of Great Men,” collected by Ursula Doyle
The letter of Caroline to Thomas Medwin found online at:
http://www.links2love.com/love_letters_24.htm
I most especially love this excerpt, “I clasped a knife, not intending anything. ‘Do, my dear,’ he said. ‘But if you mean to act a Roman’s part, mind which way you strike with your knife–be it at your own heart, not mine–you have struck there already.”

Who in gods name could be that eloquent and that much of a rougueish prick and all at knife point!

Finally I read these as well – for a bit of light humor and also a bit of morbid humor.

Open Letters to McSweeny’s can be found here:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/openletters/

Stalker letters to Celebrities: culled from various online sources see the smoking gun

What a heady evening I sincerely encourage you to delve into the past by uncovering the letter, or by writing one of your own. Mail mimi a little something if you have the mind. My mail never gets stamped return to sender.

Until next week – Mimi…

Being one of your Chicago naked girls has so been good for my brain. I challenge you to play along from home and use the theme of the month as a way  to do some guided learning. In our day-to-day hectic modern lives it’s hard to resist the lure of just coming home and zoning out. While sometimes you need to “just veg,” it can also be incredibly rejuvenating to activate the parts of your mind that perhaps you don’t get to use much at work. A long day at work can really take it out of you. Most people I talk to admit sadly that while they read a ton in college and loved it they find they don’t have much time to read anymore. Some say what they miss most is having the opportunity to discuss what they read with others who’ve shared the experience because it enabled them to digest what they’d read and really connect with it. I find I sympathize with these sentiments. The most important thing we can do is stay engaged. Reading is a huge part of that because so much information and knowledge is disseminated via the written word. The more you delve into whats out there the less you’ll feel like just another spent working stiff. It’s not just the nakedness that gets me going, it’s the joy of continuing education.

I suppose I could have just said, “Learning is FUN!” – who knew? ha ha but thank you for reading anyway – I feel much better now after my impassioned rant. To reward you for getting through that last paragraph of evangelizing, I’ll share a tidbit about the first time I exposed myself to an audience.

Seeing all the lovely would be naked girls bear it all this last week. Go Girls! I’m reminded of my first experience with public nudity.  Those who know me will admit to you that I am very mischievous! When I first turned 18 years old my father insisted that to build character I should go out and get a job. Not a summer job mind you – I’d been wanting one of those since I was 16. A during the schoolweek after school special kinda gig. Yuck! Did he want to ruin my social life? But, my dear pops was not going to budge. However he did not specify what kind of job – wink wink!

Now teenage girls are already devious by nature and if you think otherwise then obviously you’ve been successfully duped. They are without a doubt lovely creatures full of energy and exuberance but watch out! I was no exception and I was ornery to boot. I scoured the wanted ads, internet posts, and bulletin boards for days looking for a way to push the envelope. My criteria were as follows: find something that will take a limited amount of time, payout well, and get under my dad’s skin. Eureka! Live Nude artists model wanted for college co-op figure drawing class!

I responded directly. The pay was awesome – and for only an hour a two at a time after school. At first I didn’t tell my dad exactly what job I’d found I was vague. This is a well known teen tactic. You don’t exactly lie… when probed by dad, “What kind of job did you find?” I think I may have said I got a job helping out with art classes at the college – I’m not really exactly sure yet what that will entail but it will be great experience.” He must have thought it sounded legit and he let me borrow the car to get back and forth. Now while I was ornery I wasn’t irresponsible. I diligently interviewed the head of the Co-op. So I could be sure this was a legitimate operation I made sure I’d have an escort to and from my car. I checked to be sure that the co-op wasn’t just in somebody’s basement. I covered all my bases.

But all that diligence could not have prepared me for the actual moment. Where I stepped out in front of a whole class full of college kids not much older than me and dropped my robe. I wasn’t mortified exactly but I was super nervous. I had no idea what kind of poses to do, should I ever make eye contact. The room was completely silent for two hours. I soon discovered that while holding uncomfortable positions and being stared at by twenty sets of eyes. The mind wanders. In time I would come to value this as kind of meditation but on that first day it was mostly just me thinking about what they were thinking about me. Ha! I’d never felt more exposed it was as if I felt that by the fact of people seeing me naked they could see into my soul in the same way that native cultures unexposed to western civilizations were hesitant to be photographed. A captured image of you was like your soul trapped on paper, a butterfly pinned to a board.

After the longest hour of my life the head co-op director came up to me and said. You were great here’s your money you are welcome back anytime. I only have one criticism can you try to make your poses less, “pretty” we want less pin-up and more natural for next time. That’s where I drew the line, ha! If I was going to be naked I was damn well going to be a lady about the whole business. I wanted regal nudity – Like Olympia by Edouard Manet. Not cop a squat, slouchy, unseemly nudity. Yeesh, this was art not the bath house it was supposed to be stylized. Instead I said, “Sure thing” making a mental note to find the middle ground. So you see my deviance and sense of mischief has led me to some very shaping and telling moments.

It turns out that the teenage girl ended up being duped because the job did build character. Damn if dad wasn’t right! The nude art modeling helped me to gain a confidence and an acceptance of not just my nudity but of nakedness in general. It engaged parts of me that had been dormant and captured my imagination. I would follow a year or so later by applying to and being admitted into some of the countries most prestigious art schools. I eventually joined the co-op I modeled for, befriended many of the artists in it and drew others naked right along side them. I felt accepted. When eventually I came out to my dad about my extra-curriculars he seemed more or less okay with it so long as I was safe about the whole thing. Ha! So not the response I’d expected. So I went out and started dating a boyfriend who just happened to be four years older than me and yep that did the trick. OH my poor father!

lake at dusk

Lately Naked Mimi has been having a severe case of FOMO – for those of you who aren’t familiar the term, FOMO is the “Fear of Missing out!” I have it often actually. It started long ago when my best friends down the block would come over to play and the adults supervising playtime would be shocked that they constantly had to remind me to take a lunch break or a potty break. I would have none of it! Didn’t they know that while I was in the bathroom I could be missing out on a great tickle fight, or a new made up song, or I could end up stuck with the ugly Barbie whose hair had all been cut off by my lil brother?

There are all sorts of things in life that one can miss out on and among the many things to be sure not to miss evenings with the naked girls reading literature and chatting rank high! Woe is Mimi, I’ll miss two! The freedom themed NGR and the ice cream social NGR and isn’t it always the case with FOMO that your imagination exaggerates until you’re convinced that there were practically miracles performed while you were away. Speaking of miracles I’m sure I missed a few. The divinity in each beautiful and bared naked breast and the breathy fragility and strength in simply reading aloud the things that move you. For me those are every day re-affirmations of a faith I hold in the beauty of women. So yeah I’m sure I missed out but…..

The only practical cure for FOMO is to focus on the moment and to remind yourself that while you may have missed one spectacular thing you participated in one equally wonderful one. The choices we make are what make us. Right now I’m making some personal choices to take some much needed time off to be with family under the biggest of big skys and surrounded by mountains older than civilizations. I’ve been in Montana. I’ve been doing lots of hugging, reflecting, reading, motorcycle riding, I’ve even found some time to enjoy a bit of naked time on my own. I walked up to the lake at the ranch at dusk and swam naked at the foot of the Beartooth mountains for no other audience then some surprised fish and the setting sun. Now that I’m talking about it I feel pretty at peace and even more so when I remind myself that I will bring that new peace to the September NGR! Michelle L’amour was sharing the concept for September with me and it sounds amazing. If bared breasts are your religion too then be prepared for some new things to meditate on. I can’t wait to see you all there. September 4th the church of naked you know where it is – I’ll see you there.

Very Best from Mimi in Montana
Xoxoxo

* Getting back on track, here’s what I read:
Edgar Allen Poe’s  – “Masque of the Red Death”
Roald Dahl’s – Omnibus: Perfect Bedtime Stories for Sleepless Nights (short story called “Skin”)

We also read aloud and interpreted the dreams of our audience members. From this exercise we learned that, as a dream interpreter, I’m a bit of a hack. And that people have some hilarious, adorable and disturbing dreams. I’ll not reveal the top secret identities of our dreamers but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if I shared a selection of my favorite shared dreams from the evening:

_________________________________________________________________

Dream 1 Entitled: Adorable Hipster Boy’s Song Stylings:

I was dreaming that I was having a dream and this young boy  had a guitar in bed. He took all the words/phrases I spoke aloud and put them to music – so my “sleep talking” became fodder for his “song”… when I woke up, for real, and asked how he liked my “song” he laughed. It was all a dream.

Dream 2 Entitled: Superman would never doo that!

I was Batman and I was after somebody (I forget who, or why) and I was hang-gliding around the woods looking for him. Then suddenly I had to take a dump so I found a bathroom. But, then while I was taking a dump my friends from college came in and started making fun of me like, “Hey! Check out who’s taking a dump, it’s Batman!” and I was like, “Quit it you guys, stop making fun of me, I’m after somebody, I just had to take a dump first!”

Dream 3 Entitled: Tricycle Now

So the basis of the dream – it’s a post-apocalyptic warzone. There’s no one around and I’m trying to find someone and I think I know where they are. I’m walking down an alley and I hear a strange repetitive noise. I hide behind something and look towards the noise. There’s a busted up car with a giant slab of wood, like a ramp, running from the top of the car across the hood – and to the ground. There’s a man near the trunk of the car with a pile of dead raccoons. One by one, he takes a raccoon and pushes it on a tricycle down the make shift ramp. Repeatedly.

Yeah, good stuff, right?  See what you missed out on? Can’t you just imagine the commentary that ensued as we tried to interpret these doozies! Bet those of you schmucks who missed out will be marking your calendars next time right. Until then, Sweet dreams….

…..Sweet Naked Dreams

Oh and if you want to share those dreams with Mimi – I’ll attempt to interperet them for you too!

I love to toy with the idea of responding to some of these indecent e-proposals like this one for example:

Maid in lingerie wanted (Hollywood Dist.)
Date: 2009-03-03, 2:12PM PST
I would like a sexy maid to come to my house twice a month. I will not make any sexual advances I just want a hot girl wearing sexy lingerie to come over and brighten my day. This is something that is meant to be fun for both of us. I will provide you with good company, music, pay, and cocktails. I am a 27 year old man who just wants to spice some things up in my life. If you could send me some pics of you that would be great. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you soon. Oh yeah… be creative with an outfit to wear this should be fun for you as well.

Maid for You?

I play out the fantasy in my mind. Would this be fun for me as well?  I know I have just the perfect thing to wear.  With my extra curricular activities naughty lingerie is something I have in excess. Would the John be handsome? What kind of music would he play, and would the tunes coupled with the good company be sufficient compensation. This fantasy seems like it could almost cross over into reality with the right circumstances but my rational side tells me that ultimately the reality comes with to much risk. And when I allow myself to ponder the risks they soil the fantasy. Turns out that for today anyway, I am not quite ballsy and impetuous enough to be anybody’s belle du jour. This foray has made me realize that the glamour of a courtesan may be just that. A glamour. But I’ll not close that door entirely after all I can not deny my imagination anything……

If you’d like to turn me on or just enjoy a fun writing exercise I encourage you to entice me with what your craigslist adult ad might read? Or send me an interesting link on our march topic.

And for other interesting e-links on the topic of Courtesans, Whores, Prostitutes, Sexwork etc..

Salon article on Courtesans Past and Present

Drawings of Prostitute: the sketch project

Vanilla Slim: Improbible Pimp

Craigslist or Cheap Entertainment? Get your Jollies here.